How to deal with dating a married man
We sit across from one another at the Greasy Spoon diner, reaching over the table to touch hands, caressing thumbs with the tenderness of a violin player. We joke and laugh, we talk, we sit in pure adoration. At the start of it all, the perks of the situation swam happily in my mind. Like most modern women, I felt I only needed a man for one thing, and a coupled lifestyle was not that thing. There would be no awkward morning-afters, no constant phone calls or texts. He loved me and worshipped me and spoke of our future. I know every inch of his face and he knows every inch of mine. If I had never let things progress, I wouldn’t feel the hurt tugging on my heartstrings when we needed to disguise our relationship or feel the jealousy when he went home to his wife, as he always did. I could have all the space I wanted and I would hear no complaints from his end. But what started out as a simple, no-strings-attached relationship (or at least the illusion of one) evolved into much more. Maybe it was the jolt of electricity we both felt when we first met and shook hands or maybe it was our mutual understanding of the other’s troubles. We became each other’s go-to when one of us needed support. I order his food (one Belgium waffle on the soft side, a plate of crispy bacon) and he orders mine (a short stack, no butter, a bowl of fruit, a side of extra crispy bacon). And the casual friendship-with-benefits morphed into a caring, loving relationship. They didn’t know what was going on; all they knew was my seemingly unnecessary depression. We sit, together in our love, relishing every second. You would think after three years of dating a married man, I would be used to this. I could see the aurora dancing in his eyes when he saw me, and he could see the sparkle in mine. I didn’t expect to miss him when we weren’t together, I didn’t expect to become so attached to his children that they felt like family, and I definitely didn’t expect to fall in love. What I thought could be something simple ended up being a stressor. Our time together was constantly cut short so his wife wouldn’t find out. I trudged back and forth to work amid discussions of counseling, tentative hugs and attempts at forcing me to eat. The only thing worse than bearing that heavy a weight alone is carrying it yourself. a.k.a He'll NEVER stay that into you There are no positive reasons for dating a married man.Even the good reasons don't stand the test of time and turn out to be bad ideas in good ideas' clothing.The existence of your relationship with a married man tells you how little he respects his wife by lying to her instead of being a man and telling her he wants out. Like the Groucho Marx joke, "He may not want to be of a relationship that would have him as a partner." 7. Like it or not, you are a willing participant in a man violating his vows and betraying the trust of his wife -- not to mention grossly disappointing his children and making it difficult for them to see him as a role model. If he is caught by his wife or conscience, don't be surprised if he tries to blame you and get you to take the fall. Because it's convenient and comfortable, a relationship with a married man can go on for a long time -- and before you know it, eat up the precious time you might have had in a healthy relationship with a chance of flourishing.
However, men usually get attracted to other women as a result of a deficiency or a lack of satisfaction (emotional/sexual) in their present relationship.
It reassured me someone went through the same things I did, that I wasn’t alone in my torture. I told him, “I won’t come to any different conclusion.
But even through the music, I could feel things starting to fall apart.
Unless you are well socialized, you can expect to be very lonely during these times. You will be unable to share details of your relationship with friends and family as you would in a normal relationship. You will never get to know his parents, his siblings, his children or his circle of friends unless he gets a divorce in the future, which again, is not where you are now.
That part of his life will be compartmentalized away from you, where it is entirely possible that he is fully integrated into your life, creating a major imbalance., may be a male who has absolutely no intention of divorcing his wife.